Breaking and Entering
by dramaticbunny
Summary: Breaking and entering into somebody's house is morally wrong. Stalking someone while they're on a kinda-sorta-date is morally wrong. Summoning their overprotective friends to join them is...well, I'm sure you see what I'm getting at here. [GoM & SeirinxKuroko, but Mainly Akakuro. Rated T 'cause cussing sometimes.]
1. In which Riko is violent

**Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, shape, or form, own Kuroko no Basuke. If I did, Kuroko would get a LOT more screentime, and everything would be tooth-rottingly sweet & fluffy.**

Kuroko Tetsuya always walked with Kagami Taiga.

 _He must be sick,_ Kagami thought, brushing it off without a second thought. It was worrying, sure, but it wasn't as if the bluenette was immune to these kinds of things. He himself got sick sometimes. He kinda felt bad for Kuroko, as he knew he'd have to make up the grueling training in the end, courtesy of Coach Riko.

Kuroko Tetsuya didn't come to class. Now Kagami was certain he was sick.

 _It happens to the best of us,_ he told himself, even if it felt strange when the ghost-like boy didn't pop up in front of him constantly.

He never stopped to think that, even if Kuroko _was_ sick, he would never skip class. That just wasn't like him.

" _Oi!_ Coach, what was that for?!"

"For being an idiot!" Riko snapped, huffing slightly. She had just hit him upside the head with a fan, and was now proceeding to fan herself, despite the gym not being too stuffy.

"What?" Kagami was beyond bewildered at this point, even forgoing his usual temper tantrum. "What the _hell?_ I finished all the training you forced on us- I mean…" He visibly shuddered when the brunette gave him an icy glare.

"You're doing quadruple the training," she decided with an air of finality.

"W-What?! What did I even _do?_ "

The brown-haired coach frowned at him, expression giving nothing away. "You're slacking off. Even if Kuroko-kun isn't here, you still have to do the work, you idiot!"

"Gah…" Kagami grumbled, scratching the back of his head.

"Where _is_ Kuroko-kun, anyway?" Riko looked even more cross, if that were possible. "He's usually _never_ late to practice."

"I think he's sick," Kagami informed her. "He wasn't in class, either."

"Huh…" Riko rubbed her chin with a fist, a thoughtful look entering her eyes.

"What?" Kagami was dreading the answer.

Riko grinned terrifyingly. "Let's pay him a visit, ne?~ You know where he lives, don't you?" She was giving off a deadly aura that sent chills down the people in her vicinity's spines.

Kagami refused to cower. "U-Uh….yeah, of course. We walk together to school everyday, after all."

"Great! Everyone, gather your stuff! We're following Bakagami!"

"W-Wait, what?" Hyuuga interrupted, eyes wide. "What about the training?"

"You'll make it up later," Riko said with a sickeningly sweet voice. She was sadistic. Very much so.

"That's not fair!" groused Kagami.

"Get used to it," Riko responded unsympathetically. "AND I TOLD YOU IDIOTS TO PACK YOUR BAGS! WE'RE GOING!"

Kagami wasn't sure what he expected. They arrived at Kuroko's house with no trouble, but he had a….bad feeling about this.

"What do you think happened to him?" asked Hyuuga curiously.

Kagami shrugged. "I told you, he's probably sick. Can we go now?"

"No!" Riko swatted him. "We're not going until we figure out what's wrong with him! We're breaking in!"

"Ah….but isn't the door open?" Izuki pointed out. His eyes then brightened. "I got it! Do-"

"NO." Riko practically oozed anger. Izuki cringed, deciding this wasn't the best time to crack a pun.

The brunette cautiously creaked open the door, eyes darting to and fro. She signaled for the others to follow her, creeping into the house as if she were a top-secret spy.

"Is this really necessary?" inquired Koganei nervously.

"Shh!"

"This is pretty much breaking and entering," reasoned Hyuuga. "Without the breaking."

"So it's just entering," Riko said.

"Yeah. Entering without permission. Which, if you ask me, is just as bad."

"Shut up, all of you!" snarled Riko, brown eyes gleaming with annoyance. "We're going in, and that's final!"

"There's no turning back, anyway," added Kagami helpfully. "We're already inside."

Stomach churning with uncertainty, the tall redhead followed his coach up the stairs, the rest of the team lagging behind.

 **Cliffhanger. Yup. Don't break into people's houses, kids.**

 **This is really rushed. Sowwy. I also have no beta, so forgive the mistakes.**


	2. In which Riko is slightly less violent

**So I just realized that the title for this story is the exact same as someone else's Kuroko no Basuke Fanfiction title. I don't wanna change it though ;**

 **Also: I didn't watch the whole series, so I don't know the storyline or the characters very well. Sorry!**

 **DISCLAIMER: Kuroko no Basuke/Basket does NOT belong to me. 'Nuff said.**

 **One last thing: Because I love Akakuro so much, there will be plenty. :D**

They found nothing but…well, stuff you usually find in houses. There were some wrappers strewn about, but otherwise it was perfectly clean and orderly.

"I told you guys this was a bad idea," Kagami mumbled.

"Shut up!" Riko bit back at him. "We may find some valuable things! C'mon, I think this is Kuroko's room!" She quickly headed over to the vacant bedroom.

"This is _beyond_ breaking and entering," commented Hyuuga.

"She'll beat us up if we disagree with her," Kiyoshi pointed out idly.

"We know that already!" Kagami puffed.

"Get your butts in here!"

They quickly rushed after their hot-headed coach.

"I guess nobody's home," observed Koganei.

Riko kicked him in the back. "No duh! We're supposed to be looking, so get to it!"

"Geez….Coach is unnecessarily rough today," Kagami muttered.

Riko's eye twitched, ready to let loose her wrath. "What was that, Bakagami?"

"N-Nothing."

"That's what I thought." Riko normally wasn't one to let someone talking behind her back get away, but she was feeling particularly merciful. (Actually, she was just too preoccupied with the stuff in Kuroko's room.)

"There's nothing here that gives us any lead to what happened to Kuroko, and where he is," Hyuuga said.

"Maybe he was taken by a ghost," Izuki suggested lightly.

"DON'T SAY THAT!" shouted Hyuuga.

"Was that a pun, because Kuroko is a 'phantom'?" Riko glared at Izuki. "This is a serious matter!"

"Sorry, sorry…"

Kuroko sneezed.

"Somebody must be talking about me," he murmured to himself. Akashi offered him a tissue, smirking slightly.

"Maybe you are sick," Akashi mentioned.

"Maybe."

 **Crappy chapter is crappy. ;) Crappiness overload. And very OOC. Yep.**


	3. In which Akashi is mentally scarring

**I think this might turn into just Akakuro, with AllxKuro as side pairings. I don't know yet. I just really like Kuroko. ;D**

 **Three things:**

 **1) I'm slow at updating at times. Sorry.**

 **2) All the chapters are extremely short and stock-full of un-actiony, boring stuff. I'll try to fix that in the later chapters.**

 **3) Thanks for the reviews!**

 **(I'm portraying Riko as more dangerous than Akashi. Lemme fix that in this chapter.)**

The whole "finding Kuroko" ordeal was a huge bust. Kagami insisted it was sickness, whilst Riko seemed firm in her belief that something was wrong with the bluenette.

"Call him then, Bakagami!" Riko suggested (threatened) when Kagami tried to get out of invading Kuroko's privacy for the umpteenth time.

Kagami hesitated uncertainly.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Riko held up a fist, a false serene smile on her face. She was probably down for murder at this point. Then again, she was _always_ down for murder.

"N-Nothing! Geez, Coach, calm down!"

" _What_ did you just say?" Riko's mood whiplashed from _'I might murder you if the situation calls for it'_ to _'I will murder you, no doubts about it.'_ Kagami decided he valued his life, and hurriedly fumbled with his phone, flipping it open with trembling fingers and dialing a number he knew by heart.

"He's so brave," whispered Koganei to Mitobe, who of course had nothing to say to that.

"Ne, what was that?~"

"Eek!"

Luckily, before Koganei could be slain by the evil beast, Kuroko picked up the phone.

"Taiga."

….Never mind, that sounded _nothing_ like Kuroko's calm monotone. This was more like…well, nothing could describe this person's voice, other than eviler and crueler than Riko's, which Kagami didn't think was possible.

"W-Who is this?" The redhead hoped the other didn't notice the slight tremor in his voice. Judging by the hum of satisfaction on the other side, he guessed he _had_ heard.

…Kagami was pretty sure he knew who it was, but he didn't want to jump the gun.

"Who do you think it is, Taiga?" the other countered composedly.

Yep, definitely Akashi.

Kagami didn't want to die today. He was too young. He had a _future_ ahead of him.

But he also had pride.

…

Even if he _was_ facing against the devil himself.

"Why do you have Kuroko's phone?" Kagami chose the rational question.

"Tetsuya is… _busy_ at the moment." Kagami swore he felt the other redhead smiling. It was undoubtedly creepy, and something he'd rather not experience ever again.

"Busy with what?"

"You're asking too many questions." Kagami didn't know what was worse; Riko on a bad day, or Akashi in general.

Probably Akashi.

"Now, Taiga….why did you call, exactly?"

Kagami gulped nervously, his Adam's Apple bobbing. He was _not scared._ He was _not scared._ He was –

Okay, he was seriously going to piss in his pants. Heck, if it weren't for his teammates staring expectantly at him, he would've done so already.

He promptly hung up before he could humiliate himself further.

" _K-a-g-a-m-i-k-u-n~_ "

Not again.

" ** _Why did you hang up?"_**

 _Goodbye, cruel world._


	4. In which an Akakuro date happens

**This follows Kuroko throughout the first few chapters. This is pretty much his perspective. I'm not very good with romance, so the Akakuro in this chapter is pretty friendship-centric. Okay, not really. But still.**

 **I can never get Kuroko's personality right. So I just made him sorta wary of Akashi. (He doesn't know that Akashi has a coughsupermajorcrushonhimcoughcough.) Kuroko is also sassy. Very sassy. Beware the sassiness in this chapter, courtesy of you-know-who. That's right. Voldemort.**

 **One last thing: This is kind of a filler chapter, so it's not really a main part of the story. You can skip it if you want…but only if you don't want the slight yaoi.**

 **(And if you skip it, you'll have to skip the next chappie, 'cause it's a continuation of this.)**

One thing about Akashi is that you _never_ say no to him.

Kuroko Tetsuya could be described as 'defiant' under certain circumstances. But he would rather not get on Akashi's bad side, though he was fully aware that Akashi would never actually _snap_ at him, unlike the other unlucky souls who had suffered beneath the hands of Akashi Seijuro.

(Honestly, Kuroko pitied them, though he seldom did anything about it.)

Kuroko wasn't scared of Akashi. No. He just didn't like getting himself involved in disputes that could be prevented with him keeping his mouth closed.

So when Akashi invited him out to dinner on a seemingly random day, he didn't argue. Instead, he tried to call Kagami so the redhead would tell Riko he wouldn't make it.

Strangely enough, Kagami did not pick up. Kuroko suspected it had something to do with Akashi and his freaky eye-powers, if that was even possible.

At this point, he knew it was best not to question anything Akashi does.

~o~

"Right on time, Tetsuya," Akashi greeted him smoothly, a placid smile on his face. Kuroko did not let that fool him.

"Do you need something, Akashi-kun?" he asked bluntly, not bothering beating around the bush. Never had Akashi invited him to dinner before; it must've been something important.

Akashi looked genuinely surprised. "Is it bad to want to spend time with a…. _friend?_ "

Kuroko did not like the way he emphasized the word ' _friend_ '.

"Akashi-kun." He tried to sound more stern this time, although he knew his…personality quirks wouldn't allow him to show any kind of emotion.

"Tetsuya, I would never lie to you."

 _Sure._

"I just wanted to spend time with you."

 _You say that, but…_

Kuroko reluctantly slid into the seat directly in front of Akashi. The redhead smirked haughtily at him. He rolled his eyes inwardly.

"Akashi-kun, just tell me _why_ you brought me out here, to a fancy restaurant, of all places." He gestured around him, not at all amused by the soft, romantic music playing in the background and all the couples lip-locking over the tables. He suppressed a shudder.

"Do you not like it, Tetsuya?"

Never one to tell a lie, Kuroko deadpanned, "No, I do not."

"As expected of you."

"You're not answering me, Akashi-kun."

The redhead leaned forward, smirking once again. "You're just very….intriguing, Tetsuya. Very hard to read." He tapped the side of his head. "Although my eyes see all. You cannot escape me."

"That is creepy, Akashi-kun."

"What are you going to eat, Tetsuya?" Akashi avoided the question easily.

Kuroko frowned slightly, though it was barely noticeable. Akashi, of course, caught onto this. "…I'm not particularly hungry. Besides, I don't have much money with me right now."

"Why, of course. I will pay for you," the heterochromatic weirdo said.

"I feel offended because you seem to be treating me like a girl."

Akashi just shrugged. "Tetsuya, you have to order something."

"I don't _have_ to." If it weren't for his stoic personality, Kuroko would've glared balefully at the redhead.

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

" _No,_ I don't."

"Yes you do, and that's final."

"…No, I don't." Let it be said that Kuroko never backed down. Even Akashi knew this, so he let it be. (He _could_ eventually convince the tealnette, but it would take too much time off of this precious 'date'.)

While the redhead waved over a nearby waiter, Kuroko discreetly slipped his hand in his front pocket, fishing out his phone.

 _...Should I try texting Kagami-kun again? It seems like he didn't get the last one._

 **(Note: He didn't get the last one because Akashi somehow deleted the message. Idk. He's just freaky like that.)**

Before he could make a decision, Akashi began speaking to the waiter. "May I have a ***insert fancy food that Akashi would eat because how the heck am I supposed to know*** and a vanilla milkshake?"

Kuroko stared at Akashi. "I didn't know you liked vanilla milkshakes as well, Akashi-kun."

"Well then, we're learning about each other, aren't we?"

Kuroko continued staring emotionlessly at him.

"You didn't expect me to not order you something, did you?"

The tealnette pursed his lips. "….Thank you, Akashi-kun. I shall pay you back later. Although you really _didn't have to._ " He let his irritation seep through, though only slightly.

"I was merely being a gentleman, Tetsuya," Akashi replied pleasantly.

Kuroko frowned again. Before he could open his mouth to speak again, his phone started ringing. He took it out with the intention of answering it, but before he could even blink, it was in Akashi's hands and the redhead was holding it to his ear.

Knowing full well there was no use in denying Akashi, Kuroko sat back and watched.

There was a long stretch of silence before Akashi spoke, his tone icy and unforgiving. "Taiga."

Kuroko visibly winced. He'd have to apologize to Kagami later for his permanent mental scarring.

There was incoherent mumbling on the other line.

"Who do you think it is, Taiga?" Akashi glanced at the bluenette for a split second.

There was a shorter period of silence. Kuroko had to strain to hear half of what Kagami was saying, though he caught something along the lines of ' _phone_ '.

"Tetsuya is… _busy_ at the moment." Akashi's gaze interlocked with Kuroko's, who remained impassive throughout the whole thing. He broke the eye contact after a while.

More silence.

"You're asking too many questions."

Kuroko busied himself with his napkin. He had long since given up.

"Now, Taiga….why did you call, exactly?"

Kuroko looked up swiftly, ready to say something, but Akashi quieted him with a finger to the lips.

The tealnette waited with bated breath.

An audible gulp, presumably from Kagami.

….

Akashi coolly gave the phone back to Kuroko, who pocketed it immediately after realizing the other redhead had hung up.

 _You were my last resort, Kagami-kun, and you failed me,_ he thought bitterly.


	5. Kuroko has had enough of this crap

**(Or: In which Kuroko has no trouble telling Akashi he's a jerk.)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke/Basket.**

 **I was surprised I got any reviews at all. Thanks!**

 **Daygon Yuuki ~ Akashi knows all. ;D And yes, Kagami will probably be killed fifteen times. Maybe three times if Akashi is feeling particularly forgiving.**

 **Goodbye, Kagami. You will be dearly missed.**

 **Kage-15-11 ~ It's not trespassing if they don't know. ;)**

 **Guest ~ (** **・∇・** **)**

 **Rinfantasy ~ Thank you! I was worried that someone wouldn't like how I wrote his character! I wanted him to be super sessy. (** **)**

 **Jean Sumar ~ Maybe we should prepare a coffin for Kuroko as well as Kagami. Just kidding, of course. I would never let my favorite character die. (Kuroko, not Kagami.) And I love Akashi too! Although he's a bit…violent.**

 **I think Kise is my spirit animal. We're both overly energetic, we both use emoticons too much, we both talk too much…**

 **Hopefully I'm cooler than him.**

 **Probably not.**

 **(Not that he's cool or anything. Because he's not. Sorry not sorry, Kise. Even though I love you. ;_;)**

A chill ran up Kagami's spine. _What's wrong with me? It's not like I'm scared of that Akashi or anything! …Maybe Coach scarred me for life? Yeah, that's probably it._

"Kagami-kun~" Riko smiled sweetly at him. Never a good sign. "Why aren't you doing your training? Kuroko-kun won't like it if you slack off while he's away."

"How come you're letting _him_ off the hook?" Kagami demanded, feeling brave.

"Because he's not a baka like you."

Kagami deflated visibly.

"Now go do your training regime!" The brunette quickly punched him in the stomach – hard – before stepping away so she could talk quietly with Hyuuga.

Kagami almost felt bad for Hyuuga. She was probably threatening him. But really, he should be worrying about himself right now…

He braced himself, knowing what hell Riko was going to put him through. _I should really be used to this._

 **Beware the random switches in POV.**

Akashi's fork clanked against the side of his plate. He could feel the deadly glare aimed at him. He pointedly ignored it. Only Tetsuya could be so daring.

"…Are you not going to drink your milkshake?" He smirked coyly. "I bought it just for you, after all. It would be a waste of money if you didn't indulge yourself."

Kuroko's glare only sharpened. He was uncharacteristically moody.

"I'll drink it, but only to humor you," he said stonily. _I'm dead inside._

The redhead tilted his head slightly. _He looks dead inside,_ he mused. Then, never one to pass up a perfect opportunity, he said, "I find all of this strange. After all, you never seem to have trouble – and you're always _perfectly comfortable_ \- drinking your milkshake with Tyaika. Oh, was that his name?" He feigned ignorance.

"Don't play that game with me," Kuroko replied, poker-faced. It seemed his earlier emotions had left as quickly as they came. "You know his name."

"You never denied that you're always so comfortable with Taiga," observed Akashi.

" _Now_ you get his name right," Kuroko responded rather sardonically.

"Of course. I'm always right, after all."

"Always right," repeated Kuroko emotionlessly. "Is that so." It was intended to be a question, but it came off as flat and bored.

"Yes." Akashi didn't seem bothered by this fact.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Well?"

"Well what?"

"Tetsuya, you're being surprisingly stubborn."

"Of course. Akashi-kun is a jerk." Kuroko normally never went this overboard, but….there was a first for everything. He had too much on his plate, anyway.

Literally.

Akashi had also ordered a plate of food for him after getting him the milkshake, which Kuroko had adamantly refused. Now it sat untouched and cold.

"Oh?"

"…"

"Maybe I'm a jerk, but I'm still always right."

"Perhaps I should call the other Generation of Miracles so they can witness your attitude." **(HOT DANG KUROKO)**

"Hm?" Akashi didn't look infuriated. Kuroko's eyebrow twitched. It was miniscule, but still noticeable to someone like the redhead.

Akashi smirked. "Am I bothering you, Tetsuya?"

"I'm not going to lie," Kuroko said calmly. "You _are_ bothering me. A lot. I was expecting something peaceful, but I guess I was wrong." _Then again, nothing is peaceful when you're around,_ he added as an afterthought. Who said Kuroko wasn't snarky inside his head?

Silence. Akashi looked unperturbed, so it was safe to say that he just couldn't bother himself to reply.

The cyan-haired boy's eyebrow twitched again. Had Akashi always been this annoying? Was he this annoying to Aomine, Murasakibara, Midorima, and – God forbid – Kise?

Probably not. No one could beat Kise in being annoying.

…Aomine, Murasakibara, and Midorima were annoying as well. They were just less so.

He allowed himself to insult his teammates just this once.

He stood up abruptly. "…I have to leave, Akashi-kun. You were very vague when you were speaking to Kagami-kun – I do not want him to worry."

"You haven't finished your milkshake."

Kuroko sighed resignedly.

 **Too late to escape, Kuroko. Sorry.**

 **Too much dialogue in my story. Not enough action. :( But don't worry. Next chapter isn't a filler, so it'll be more action-packed. ;D**

 **I think I'll update this story every weekend. I have school, after all. Wish I had more free-time…**


	6. In which Riko ships GoMxKuroko

I do not own Kuroko no Basuke. This should be quite obvious already.

Responses to reviews:  
 **Rinfantasy ~** I don't think Akashi had any points in the first place. (Don't tell him I said that.) But yeah, Kuroko has no reason to like him anymore now.

 **IWillBelieveIt If I CanDreamIt ~** Same here. XD Though, knowing Akashi, he probably wouldn't _need_ to chase after him. He's absolute, after all. ;)

 **Guest ~** Sowwy for updating so late ;_; It's nice to see that you're enjoying this crappy excuse for a story, though! Thanks!

 **TrollQueen ~** Yeah. Kuroko has enough on his plate… (On the plus side, he'll have experience with kids!)

I fell sick recently, and I feel like crap, so sorry if this chappie is also crap. T~T

 **This chapter is centered around Seirin and Kuroko, so no Akashi or GoM. Yet.**

 **(I'm not prepared yet for the chaos that I know will ensue if I include them.)**

- **  
**  
Kagami wiped sweat from his brow, straightening up and huffing slightly as he glanced around.  
Still no sign of Kuroko.  
Why was he even trying anymore? It wasn't like Kuroko was going to magically show up out of nowhere like he always does everyda-  
"Kagami-kun."  
"ACK!" Kagami jumped a few feet into the air, quickly speeding off and hiding behind the unsuspecting Hyuuga. Then, blushing furiously at having shown weakness, he quickly ran up to Kuroko and growled fiercely, "Where have you been?"  
"You sound like a jealous girlfriend, Kagami-kun," commented the unaware tealnette.  
"S-Shut up!"  
"Kagami-kun is blushing."  
"Stop that!"  
"Where have you been?" Riko barged in, parroting what the redhead had said earlier.  
"Kuroko blinked slowly. "Akashi-kun took me out on a date. Gomenasai for being so late."  
"Everyone stared blankly at him, unable to comprehend the words that had just slipped out of his mouth.  
"A...A date?!" Kagami screeched in horror, the first to break out of his stupor. (Surprisingly.) The mild blush that was dying down on his face had erupted into an even brighter red. He looked more like an angry tomato than a talented basketball player.  
"Kuroko bit his lip. What was with their reactions? Did they not like Akashi?  
"Yes," he said cautiously. "A date. With Akashi-kun."  
"WITH AKASHI?!"  
"Is that not what I just said?" Kuroko was seriously losing what little patience he had managed to retain. Akashi was seriously frustrating. Seirin was even moreso at times.  
"I-I just-what?!" Kagami spluttered, aghast.  
"Riko appeared to be shell-shocked, having never entertained the idea that someone in her team was...well...gay.  
"I'm gay that you're gay!" Izuki voiced Riko's thoughts. Well, not necessarily, but close enough.  
"You- this is not the time for puns! This is a serious matter! We mustn't waste time!" shrieked Riko, her feathers actually perfectly unruffled like Izuki.  
"Waste time?" Poor Kuroko was bewildered. "Coach, I-"  
"We have to kill Akashi-san, scat!" Riko declared resolutely. "Don't worry, Kuroko-kun, we'll preserve your innocence!"  
"Wha-? Um, I think all of you are misunderstandi-"  
" _Kill_ Akashi?" Kagami suppressed a shudder. "Are you _crazy?_ " He immediately caught the devious look on his coach's face and fell silent. Even he wasn't stupid enough to ramble on and possibly face her unyielding wrath.

"Kagami-kun is right," Kuroko agreed with him, giving up on explaining that it was all just a simple mix-up on their part. "Akashi-kun is rather difficult to kill."

Kagami stared at him in horror. "You….how would _you_ know that? DID YOU TRY TO KILL HIM?!"

That seemed to catch Riko's attention. (Really, anything with the word 'kill' or 'murder' in it would most likely interest her.)

Kuroko frowned defensively, though he probably looked impassive in their eyes. "Of course not. Why would I do that?"

"Akashi seems to annoy you," elaborated the dual-browed redhead.

Kuroko blinked dully. "That doesn't mean I want to kill him."

Kagami almost sighed in relief. "Well, at least _one_ of the GoM isn't crazy…"

"Pardon?" Kuroko pursed his lips.

"Eh….nothin'."

"That's strange. I could have sworn you just insulted my former teammates…."

Kagami gulped dryly. "You heard wrong." _Dang it! Why can't I keep my mouth shut? Ugh! Coach is about ready to kill me, Akashi is already planning my murder, and now KUROKO is preparing to dismember me?!_

"Eh? Why are you so protective over them, anyway?" Riko couldn't help but ask. For once, Kagami thanked his coach for saving his behind, albeit unintentionally.

"We're friends," Kuroko said plainly. Well, what _else_ did they expect from a guy like him?

" _Just_ friends?" prompted Riko, eyes glinting mischievously. Seirin inched away slowly, fearing what their coach had in mind.

"Yes." If Kuroko was capable of being anything other than a robot, there would've been confusion plastered on his face. "What else would we be?"

"Oh, nothing." Sweetness was laced into Riko's singsong voice. _Not a good sign._ "Nothing at all~"

"Are you sure?" spoke up Kagami in a wavering voice. "You're…uh…laughing evilly."

"I promise I won't do anything," she vowed.

She subtly crossed her fingers behind her back.

 **I promised action in this chapter. Whoops**

 **Riko is a closet yaoi fangirl /shot**

 **(Momoi and her get together occasionally to add on to their shipping tree)**

 **(….and probably Kise too)**

 **('cause he's a creep)**

 **(/whispers I am also a yaoi fangirl, if you hadn't noticed**

 **Shh)**

 **Short chapter is short. Almost as short as Kuroko.**


	7. Kagami is tortured in various methods

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroko no Basuke. :)**

 **Responses to Reviews:**

 **Daygon Yuuki ~ I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks he's kinda creepy. ;v;**

 **Guest ~ Don't we all? (ω** **・** **)**

 **Also: I noticed that in the last chapter, there was a lot of unnecessary quotation marks and other junk that seemingly appeared out of nowhere. That happens all the time when I type up something and save it in FanFiction, so I always try to type up chapters in Word Documents. And not** ** _only_** **were there quotation mark mess-ups, there were also bold words where there weren't supposed to be bold words, and the first chunk of the chapter was squished together awkwardly.**

 **I hope you can forgive me for the….weirdness in the last chapter! /bows**

 **Now, on with the show!**

Kagami wilted in his seat, an almost inaudible groan escaping chapped lips.

"What's wrong, Kagami-kun?" Kuroko prodded him in the back with a pencil. He looked aloof as always, though Kagami knew him to be concerned.

"Coach _tripled_ my training," the redhead elaborated, sinking even further into his seat. Frankly, he looked pathetic. "And _you_ dumped your stupid dog on me!"

"Because you almost sat on me three times during practice yesterday," the tealnette replied placidly, a frown playing at his lips. "Normally you at least make an _effort_ to notice me. What—"

Before he could finish his sentence, the bell rang boisterously.

"Hold that thought, Kuroko," said Kagami. _Preferably forever._

The bluenette gave him a pointed look, slinging his backpack over his thin shoulder.

A tedious beeping noise interrupted practice.

"Kuroko-kun?" Riko stared at him questionably, one eyebrow lifted. "Is that your phone? It's coming from your backpack."

Kuroko promptly retreated to said backpack, rifling through it and plucking his light blue phone out with practiced ease. The beeping was cut off shortly after.

"Ah. It would appear so," he spoke tentatively after a while. "Akashi-kun was calling me."

"Calling you?" This only served to confound the coach even more. "Why would he call you during practice?"

"I don't know," admitted Kuroko. "It must have been important, though. May I take this call outside?"

Riko eyed him critically, but complied in the end. "Alright. But hurry back, 'kay?"

"Of course. Thank you." Kuroko bowed to her quickly, then hurried out.

"That doesn't seem like something Akashi would do."

Riko blinked and glanced back at Kuroko's light. "…Huh?"

"Calling him during practice, I mean," Kagami corrected himself. He scratched the nape of his neck, an almost nervous habit. "Akashi….he's just too….what's the word…"

"Suave?" Izuki suggested helpfully.

"Yeah, suave. That's the word."

"….Do you even know what 'suave' means?" Riko asked disbelievingly.

"Uh….not exactly."

"Idiot!" The coach whapped him on the head, seemingly bent on giving him twenty-five bruises per day.

"Hey! Ow!"

"Um…Coach?" a disembodied voice interjected.

"Wah!" The brunette jumped back. "…Eh? You already talked to Akashi-san?"

"Akashi-kun is straight to the point," the tealnette said vaguely. "Did I….miss anything?" He seemed to be referring to the blossoming bruise on the grumbling Kagami's head.

"I think you need to sic Nigou on him again," Riko said sweetly.

" _Oi!_ "

Kuroko took the crackling tension in the air as his cue to scrutinize the redhead closely...(and somewhat creepily.)

"Kagami-kun is still wearing that weird expression," he remarked.

Kagami's eyebrows furrowed, perplexed. "What weird expression?"

"The expression of thinking," clarified the bluenette. "Something Kagami-kun rarely does."

"Hey! Why is everyone against me?!"

"I'm not. I was just saying."

"Ugh! You're just an idiot, Kuroko!"

"That was unwarranted, Kagami-kun."

"Shut up! You're the one who's oblivious to Akashi trying to flirt his way into your pants!"

There was a long, uncomfortable period of silence. The gym was stuffy and hot, but suddenly everyone felt the temperature drop significantly.

"What was that, Taiga?"

"Oh…I forgot to mention that Akashi-kun is coming to visit Seirin," remembered Kuroko calmly.

Nigou barked cheerfully from beside the bluenette.

…Kagami was sure the world was out to get him.

 **A/N: I'm so mean to Kagami.**

 **I'm sorry.**

 **(Not really.)**

 **Apologies! I'm really fond of filler chapters with friendshippy moments between the Seirin members, I guess! I never knew this about myself before, strangely enough.**

 **My headcanon is that Kagami is a buttmonkey. I'm always putting him through hell. Poor guy. He has to endure Akashi's wrath.**

 **Not to mention Riko's. And Kuroko's.**

 **But worst of all…Nigou's.**

 **I'm seriously trash. I need to stop.**

 **This chapter is also trash, 'cause I'm half-asleep right now and barely aware of what I'm typing. Wowzers.**

 **I feel like I'm forgetting to say something. Hmm.**


	8. Prepare, Kagami and Riko

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Kuroko no Basket.**

 **Oh, hey.**

 **I've been sick. I don't know what else to say.**

 **I feel horrible right now, but y'know, you gotta take the good with the bad.**

 **…** **.That probably didn't make any sense. I'm going to blame it on how delirious I feel right now.**

 **But whatever. I'll get over it. Hopefully.**

 **I'm pretty sure I've stalled enough. So, without any further ado….**

 **Daygon Yuuki ~ What's the saying…like owner, like pet? Yeah. And since Kuroko likes Akashi…well…Nigou probably will as well.**

 **Rinfantasy ~ That's to say the least. Who knows what Akashi has in store for him… :o**

 **Guest ~ I'm glad this made you laugh! :D (It's still trash, tho)**

 **(Now, excuse me while I look at pictures of puppies.)**

"Taiga, your face looks like a dying monkey of sorts," Akashi commented pleasantly.

"O-Oi…." Kagami's split eyebrow twitched involuntarily.

"Akashi-kun, be nice," Kuroko reprimanded the redhead, not unlike a dog. Nigou barked twice to affirm this.

"I _am_ being nice, Tetsuya," Akashi hummed, a lecherous smirk spreading across his face. He obviously had something up his sleeve.

Something that none of them would like.

"I said you could come to Seirin, Akashi-kun," Kuroko began, drawing out his words as if he were talking to a toddler, "but only if you _behaved._ And you're not doing that right now."

Akashi shrugged flippantly, seemingly unbothered by the rather insulting jest that had been sent at him.

" _Behaved?!_ " spluttered Kagami, face going pale. _Kuroko has him wrapped around his finger!_

"The great emperor just became Kuroko's dog," Izuki commented off-handedly. His eyes brightened as if he thought up of a pun deriving from that, but Riko interrupted before he could say anything.

"Are you two going out?" she asked rather loudly, curiosity etched into her features. For once, she didn't seem angry that somebody had disrupted practice.

Kuroko said, "No, we're not" as Akashi said, "Yes, we are."

The tealnette swiveled around to stare in disbelief at the redhead.

"Akashi-kun, as far as I'm concerned, we are not going out," he flat out said, feathers perfectly unruffled.

"Hmm?" Akashi seemed pleased with himself. "Is that so?"

"Yes, that _is_ so." Kuroko probably meant to sound ticked off, but he only succeeded in sounding like….well, like how he usually sounded like.

"C-Coach has a weird look on her face." Koganei blanched.

It was true – Riko looked, for lack of a better term, constipated. Her face was distorted and slightly disturbing in a way. Kagami found it difficult to look straight at it without having the sudden urge to book it to America or something.

Akashi seemed unaffected by it. In fact, he looked _amused._ Was this all part of his plan? Had he gotten Riko in on it?

Kagami wouldn't be surprised. Both of them were scheming masterminds whose only goal was to take over the world.

He wasn't even exaggerating.

"Akashi-kun, please leave," Kuroko finally said, breaking the tense silence. "You seem to be giving Coach a heart attack."

"No, I'm perfectly fine," Riko asserted elatedly. "Better than fine. Super fine. _Really fine._ "

"She's gone crazy!" Kagami freaked out.

The brunette merely waved him off, freaking him out even further. "Akashi-san – I see what game you're playing here."

Akashi's heterochromatic eyes glinted dangerously. "Game? I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about."

Riko bit her lip thoughtfully – even _she_ knew when to stop, especially when confronted with one Akashi Seijuro.

"WE WON'T LET YOU HAVE KUROKO-KUN!"

 ** _Snip, snip._**

 _…_ _.Well,_ Kagami thought. _I guess she_ does _have a death wish._

 **Even Riko is not escaping my wrath. :)**

 **Yeah, my chapters are really short. I put a lot of time and effort into every word, so it takes me a while.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	9. Kuroko is easily bribed

**I have no excuse for not updating for who-knows-how-long. (In reality, I'm just too lazy to check. See what I mean? I can't believe I entrusted myself with a story.)**

 **I've let school overrule everything else in my life. I'm just trying to keep my grades up. Everything's going downhill, and I don't know what to do about it… ~.~**

 **Well, I'm not going to retell a sob story or anything.**

 **I'm sorry that the plot and the characters are sloppy. ;_;**

 **I'm so sorry for the lateness.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroko no Basket.**

 **Responses to reviews:**

 **Daygon Yuuki ~ (** **ﾉ･** **ω** **･** **)** **ﾉﾞ**

 **Rinfantasy ~ Oops. Did I make her like a mother hen? How did that happen?**

 **Don't worry, I won't make anything easy for him. ;)**

 **(Or anyone else, for that matter.)**

 **(Okay, maybe Kuroko because I'm biased.)**

 **TrollQueen ~ Thank you! (Even though I disappeared yet again…)**

 **natkyolee ~ Thanks!**

 **Guest ~ Wish granted!**

"Tetsuya."

The tealnette glanced back at the other boy, furrowing his eyebrows at the scheming expression on the redhead's face.

"….Yes, Akashi-kun?" he said reluctantly.

"Let's go on a date," Akashi suggested cheekily.

"No thanks." Kuroko shot him down immediately. "Is there a reason for this, Akashi-kun?"

Akashi ignored his question. He began playing with the bluenette's hair, which really creeped him out. "It wasn't a question, Tetsuya~"

Kuroko flinched away from him, scrutinizing him suspiciously. "…What's wrong with you?"

The heterochromatic played dumb. "I don't know what you're talking about, Tetsuya."

Kuroko was very quickly losing his patience, and it was showing on his face.

Akashi seemed to notice this. "Hmm. Alright, I give. I just want to spend time with you. Is that so wrong?"

Kuroko didn't miss a beat. "Yes."

"You wound me."

"Good."

"So…?" Akashi pressed.

"So what?"

The redhead just stared inexpressively. Unfortunately for him, Kuroko was and would always be the master of that. They competed against each other in a short staring contest before Akashi finally broke eye contact.

(Not because he expected to lose or anything. No, it was because he knew they would stay there forever if he kept this up. Besides, they wouldn't get to go on a date if he prolonged the competition.)

"If you come with me…" Akashi paused for dramatic effect. "I'll buy you as many vanilla milkshakes as you want."

He kind of regretted offering that when he saw the mischievous look in the other's eyes.

"Kuroko," Kagami exasperated. "I thought you were the _sane_ one."

Although he didn't show it, the tealnette was utterly confused at this. "What do you mean, Kagami-kun?"

Kagami pulled a face, gesturing vaguely at him. "I mean…c'mon, Kuroko! Do I have to spell it out for you?!"

"And I thought Kagami was the dumb one," Hyuuga mumbled.

"Hey!"

"You let him _bribe you with the promise of milkshakes._ " Kagami pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn't believe he had to confront his teammate about this.

"Well…yeah," admitted Kuroko, still unwilling to back down.

"I can't believe you," muttered the redhead, shaking his head in disbelief. "I _really_ can't believe you."

"Now's not the time, idiot!" Riko barked crossly at him. "Get started on your warm-ups before I throw Nigou onto you!"

Kagami paled. He sprinted away as fast as he could, presumably to begin his stretches.

Kuroko was relieved in a way. He wasn't enjoying the interrogation. Unfortunately, it was far from over.

Riko turned to him. "Kuroko-kun, what was he talking about before?"

The bluenette blinked.

"The 'promise of milkshakes' thing," Riko clarified.

"Oh." Kuroko blinked again. "Akashi-kun offered to take me on a date."

Riko spluttered, appalled. "W-What?!"

…Well. She expected this, but not _this_ soon.

"Didn't he _just_ take you on a date not too long ago?"

"…Yes."

The coach frowned earnestly. "Does he have a crush on you?"

Let it be known that Riko wasn't the type to beat around the bush. She wanted a full answer from Kuroko, and she knew she wasn't going to get it if she hemmed and hawed like Bakagami.

Kuroko seemed slightly taken aback by this, but he regained his composure fairly quickly.

"I don't think so," he replied a bit more tartly than he had intended.

"Hmm." Riko's frown morphed into a crafty grin. "Is that so?" She snapped her fingers. "Did he mention _when_ you're going on a date?"  
"Of course," the bluenette answered swiftly. "Next week on Wednesday. Why? Do you now want me to skip practice? Because I won't."

"No, no, not at all because of that." Riko waved him off, still smiling creepily. "Eheh. Have fun on your date, Kuroko-kun.~"

Now, Kuroko may _seem_ kinda stupid in this story, but he was fully aware what his coach was planning. He just didn't want to interfere because, well, she was terrifying.

Nodding slowly, he walked off to join Kagami in his stretching.


	10. Update!

Yeah….so it's certainly been a while.

I'm going to start off by saying that I'm _so_ sorry. I really have no good excuse for not continuing this story – I just kinda forgot about it, too involved in schoolwork and stress with family members. Fortunately, now that it's summer, I am capable of creating more chapters. :) Please don't kill me.

I'm surprised I'm not tired of the Kuroko no Basuke fandom yet. I guess that, once I get into something, I can never quite pull myself out of it. ^_^"

I've been watching more anime lately, so perhaps I might create other stories. Who knows?

Anyhow, I'll get right to making a new chapter. Again, I'm sorry!


	11. In which the GoM get involved

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke._**

 **Reviews:**

 ** _Rinfantasy ~_** **That's definitely true. But we all know how stupid Kagami is sometimes. Most of the time. Okay,** ** _all_** **the time. :P**

 **Seirin is way too protective. :T**

 ** _Guest ~_** **That's definitely going to be on his gravestone. His cause of death would also be idiocy.**

 ** _Guest ~_** **Yup! You can never be too careful…especially when your team is super possessive. Poor Kuroko. (Or Akashi, since his date is most likely going to be ruined.)**

 ** _Guest ~_** **Your wish is my command. (Even tho I took what seemed like a century break from this fanfic. Whoops)**

 ** _SomeRandomGuest ~_** **I went back to the chapter where it said that and now I can't unsee it. Thanks a lot! XD**

 **And thank you again…sincerely this time and not sarcastically. I'm glad you're liking my story so far!**

 **And guess what? The Generation of Miracles are included in this chapter! That's great for us, but not for Akashi/Kuroko….**

"Wha – eh – EHHHH?!"

Kagami growled, pulling the phone away from his ear. "Don't scream like a little girl in my ear, Kise!"

"B-But-!" the blond puppy wailed pitifully. "Kurokocchi is being _tainted_ at the hands of a _demon!_ My precious Kurokocchi! Waaaaahhhh!"

Kagami grimaced, fighting the temptation to plug his ears with his fingers. "Can you shut up?"

" ** _KAGAMICCHI, AREN'T YOU WORRIED?! KUROKOCCHI IS GOING TO…I CAN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! I NEED TO TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THI-"_**

"Chill out, will you?!" the redhead thundered, anger boiling over. "You're not helping! I don't like this either, but that d mn Akashi is going to _kill_ me if I get involved! Got it?"

"YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT KUROKOCCHI'S PURITY!" Kise babbled, the redhead's words going in one ear and out the other. "ARE YOU HELPING AKASHICCHI IN DESTROYING KUROKOCCHI'S INNOCENCE?!"

"What the – what are you even talking about? What does this have to do with Kuroko's innocence?"

"You're a baka, Kagamicchi-ssu!" Kise sobbed, tears springing to his eyes as he cradled his cellphone to his chest, trying to push the picture of Akashi and Kuroko together out of his head. "A baka!"

"Oh my God, stop crying! You're getting on my nerves!"

"Any luck?" Riko popped out of nowhere, scaring the crap out of Kagami. He nearly dropped the phone in his hands.

"Geez, Coach!" he grumbled, pressing a hand to his temples. "Where did you even come from?"

"I was here the whole time," the brunette announced. "We all were, actually."

"Wha-" Kagami whipped around, dual eyebrows drawing together as he spotted the rest of the team spying on them from the corner. "Are you kidding me?"

Riko's eyebrow lifted pointedly. "So?"

"So what?"

The coach gestured wildly at the phone, clearly expecting him to understand.

He didn't. He just stared at her blankly.

She rolled her eyes, snagging the device from him and waving it in the air with excessive irritation. "How is Kise handling it?"

Cue in the bawling and whining from the blond in question.

"I assume he's not taking it very well, then?"

Kagami glared balefully at her. "Well, whadda _you_ think?"

The coach's brown eyes darkened instantly. Kagami regretted his words. "Is that how you speak to your coach?"

"N-No, ma'am!"

Through his tears and annoying wailing, Kise laughed. "You're such a scaredy-cat, Kagamicchi!"

"Mind running that by me again?" Riko said sweetly, holding the phone to her ear while radiating serene fury. "If you want, I can go over there and kick your butt."

"No thanks! S…Sorry!" Kise silently compared the brunette to Akashi. They seemed very much alike. "A-Anyway…I need to call up Aominecchi and tell him about this!" He hung up almost immediately, leaving Kagami with his terrifying coach.

 _D mmit..._

"Tetsuya."

Kuroko's eyes traveled up to meet Akashi's multicolored ones. He raised a single delicate eyebrow. "Do you need something, Akashi-kun?"

"How about another date?" the redhead offered.

"No," the other boy rejected him right away. "The last one was a disaster. How do I know you won't drag me somewhere fancy again?"  
"But that restaurant had high-class milkshakes," Akashi reminded him. He almost sounded…petulant. Like a little kid throwing a tantrum because he didn't get his way.

Kuroko turned away, eyes once again landing on the page he was reading. "The milkshakes tasted fine, I suppose. But they were nothing special." And because he didn't want to come across as impolite, he sent a tight, forced smile in the redhead's direction. "Thank you for the…date, however. It was rather kind of you." _Although there must be a catch,_ he added as an afterthought.

Akashi moved forward, quickly approaching the cornered bluenet. "Tetsuya—"

"No, Akashi-kun."

Akashi's eyes flashed dangerously. "You don't have a choice."

"What…?"

"You're coming whether you like it or not."

"Eh – Akas-"

Before Kuroko could finish his sentence, his former leader grabbed his wrist and dragged him outside, closing the door behind him robotically.

Kuroko pulled feebly, attempting to struggle out of the redhead's grasp. He knew it was pointless, but there was no harm in trying. After all, Akashi would never intentionally harm him.

And he was right. Although Akashi looked thoroughly pissed off at his adamant refusal to go along with his plan, he didn't lay a finger against the tealnet.

"Tetsuya," he spoke urgently. "I request your utmost obedience at this time—"

"Where are we going?" Kuroko demanded.

"Somewhere," the redhead responded vaguely, tone giving away nothing. "Now, let's go."

Knowing it'd be useless to go against the devil himself, Kuroko gave in easily.

"Seriously, Coach, I don't see the point in all this."

"What do you mean?" Riko tossed a frown over her shoulder. "Bakagami, we need the Generation of Miracles with us!" Her eyes glimmered intimidatingly in the moonlight. "Don't you want to protect Kuroko-kun?"

The redhead backed away nervously. "Well, I mean, uh, yeah, but I don't think this is the way to go about it."

"Ohoho? Do you have any better ideas, then?"

Kagami stayed silent.

"Thought so. We need to get moving, all of you!"

"Don't order us around," Aomine mumbled indignantly.

"What was that?"

"….Nothing."

Riko took a deep breath and stepped out from the bushes. "We're in the clear. But they're getting away from us!"

"We need to ambush them!" declared Kise resolutely.

Midorima adjusted his glasses so it seated comfortably on the bridge of his nose. A frown tugged at the corners of his lips.

"That would not be the best course of action," he said reasonably. "We wouldn't want Kuroko to get hurt as well, right? ….N-Not that I care or anything, nanodayo. I'm only going along with this because I feel obliged to."

Kise rolled his eyes at him. "Yeah, sure. We all know you're infatuated with Kurokocchi." He sighed dreamily, stars in his eyes. "After all, who isn't?"

Midorima's face was akin to a tomato. "Look here, you—"

"Stop it!" Riko intervened. "We don't have time for your lollygagging!"

The green-haired boy twitched, visibly disturbed at the notion of him ever partaking in such a thing. "Lollyg-?"

"They're almost out of sight," Murasakibara pointed out lazily, rolling a vanilla candy in his mouth. He absent-mindedly remembered that vanilla was Kuroko's favourite flavour.

"See, you two?! Now we need to hurry!" Riko hissed loudly at them. She rushed to hide behind a nearby lamppost, (which did nothing to cover her) peeking out to see if the couple had noticed her. They hadn't of course. She signaled for the others to follow her. With that, they set out to sabotage the date.


	12. In which Kagami may or may not be doomed

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke.**

 **N/A: I'm sorry the chapters are looking so clumpy. The scenes seem to switch a lot, don't they? Well, that's because putting dashes, asterisks, etc. between different scenes apparently doesn't work for . I guess I'm still not very used to the formatting of this site. T~T**

 **So from now on, whenever there's a line break, I'll make it fairly clear.**

 **Reviews:**

 ** _Rinfantasy ~_** **Ikr? His whole world seems to revolve around Kuroko…and pestering everyone as well. I make him so annoying….oops. (It's not exactly OOC though…he is annoying in the anime too)**

 ** _Daygon Yuuki ~_** **Shh….tell nobody.**

 **** **I'm glad you understand. Thanks! :)**

 **I really missed writing FanFiction. It's the only way I can genuinely enjoy writing. I've always liked writing, but then it got pretty boring. FanFiction has certainly changed my view, though! I have plenty of fandoms, eheheh~**

 **If only my computer wasn't so slow….ugh….**

"Akashi-kun?"

Akashi gave a hum of acknowledgement, glancing back at the person he was pulling along like a dog on a leash.

"You still haven't answered my question," Kuroko mentioned. "It's not right to drag a person somewhere without them knowing the place."

"Ah." The redhead loosened his grip on Kuroko's wrist, but kept it tight enough to prevent him from escaping. "I suppose that was a tad rude of me. However….if I had told you, would you have gone along with me so willingly?"

Kuroko's eyes traveled up to the heterochromatic gaze staring at him so intently. "Depends."

"…I see." Akashi broke eye contact first, turning back around.

"Are you going to tell me now, then?" prompted Kuroko, his curiosity only growing in size the more the redhead kept quiet about it.

"It's a surprise."

"I'm not one for surprises," the bluenet said.

"I know." Akashi did not bother to elaborate.

Kuroko mustered all of his strength and broke away from the redhead, rubbing his wrist while still managing to look unfazed.

Akashi sighed. "Why must you be so difficult?"

"I think a normal person would've done the same thing in this type of situation, Akashi-kun," Kuroko argued, though without a hint of anger, "I didn't know you kidnapped people."

Akashi sent him a wry smile. "There's a first for everything."

 **(Line break)**

Tears were threatening to spill out of Kise's eyes. He watched with the expression of a cornered animal as Akashi loomed threateningly (at least, in his eyes) over his beloved bluenet.

"K-Kurokocchi!" the blond whimpered, holding himself back from darting over there and rescuing Kuroko like a knight in shining armor. "Don't let the wild beast get to you! Run away!"

"Shh!" Riko hissed at him, holding her pointer finger to her lips. She turned back to the scene, a thoughtful gleam in her brown eyes.

 _Never would've thought that Kuroko-kun would talk back to somebody,_ she thought.

Kagami pulled a face at the rest of his team. He honestly couldn't believe how stalkerish they had become – hiding behind berry bushes, lampposts, and the like. He doubted Akashi would let them off easy if he knew they had been following him while he was on a date. Kagami didn't approve of Kuroko's relationship with Akashi either, but he wasn't in the mood to die. Chancing a look at his coach told him that there was no way he could back out now.

 _Are they out of their minds?_ he thought frantically. _Those godd-mn colorful b-stards should know not to mess with Akashi by now! Why are they going along with this?!_

He was really starting to regret being born.

Izuki elbowed him in the ribs lightly. "Are you being a scaredy-cat? Get it? 'Cause tigers are cats?"

The dual-eyebrowed boy's shoulders sagged in misery. _I'm never getting out of this one. This is all your fault, Kuroko!_

"Careful, Kagami. (idk how Izuki refers to Kagami) You don't want to be… _spotted._ Get it? 'Cause tigers are striped and they don't have spo-"

Kagami had an inkling that him being cathletic wouldn't save him from being dead meat under Akashi's wrath.

…. _Cat_ hletic? Did he seriously just…?

Okay, scratch that. ( _Scratch?!_ ) He wasn't doomed because of Akashi…he was doomed because he was _turning into Izuki._

 **(Line break)**

Kuroko's patience had dwindled long before he and Akashi arrived at the place the latter had kept secret.

The bluenet was about to demand an explanation when they reached the destination.

"…a bookstore?" Kuroko stared at the redhead in disbelief, though his expression barely conveyed what he felt. "You dragged me all this way without telling me what was going on…and you bring me to a _bookstore?_ "

Akashi leveled his gaze with Kuroko. "…Yes."

"Thank you, then. I've been wanting to buy new books."

"I'll pay for the books you want," replied Akashi.

"No thank you," Kuroko declined immediately. "I would hate to take advantage of Akashi-kun's kindness."

The redhead took note on how Kuroko's attitude did a complete 180° turn upon seeing the bookstore.

"Let's go inside, then."

 **(Line break)**

"A-Akashicchi!" Kise screeched in horror. "Kurokocchi has _no idea –_ oh my GOD –"

"Kise, shut up!" Aomine said gruffly from the blond's side. "I can't hear what they're saying!"

Kise strained to listen to their conversation.

". . . really, Akashi-kun, there's no need to –"

"No, I insist –"

"Akashicchi is being a g-gentleman!" cried Kise, astonished. "The world is going to end!"

Midorima haughtily perched his glasses on his nose. "Well, I'm sure this date isn't going to last long."

A hopeful look shone upon Kise's face. "Really? Why?"

Midorima paused momentarily. "…Actually, they just might. Sagittarius and Aquarius are fairly compatible, after all."

"Eh?!" The color left the blond's face. "Are you insinuating that someone as pure as Kurokocchi is going to fall in love with someone as atrocious as Akashicchi?!"

"I'm sure he would give you hell if you said that to his face," huffed Midorima.

"Who? Kurokocchi?" Kise's confusion only grew in size.

"No, idiot! Akashi!"

"Can you two be any louder?" complained Riko. "They're gonna hear us!"

"S-Sorry!" the blond squeaked in a tiny voice. He slowly stood and peered over the bookshelf that was concealing him, catching sight of Kuroko and Akashi moving over to a bookshelf.

A bookshelf a little too close to Kagami for comfort.

"Sh-t! They're going to see me!" Kagami realized. As he dove for cover behind another nearby bookshelf, he glimpsed the two lovebirds standing hand-in-hand…

….Right in front of the bookshelf he had previously been behind.

Kagami turned ghost white as he realized he had narrowly avoided death.

Unfortunately for him, when he had swiftly changed hiding spots, he accidentally bumped into one of the bookshelves and sent a book flying to the floor. There was a resounding _'thud'_ as it hit the ground.

Kuroko perked up when he heard this. He knelt down and picked the book up, studying the cover closely.

Akashi strode over to him. "I didn't know you liked dictionaries."

Kuroko slowly shook his head. "Well…I don't really. It's just…this book fell to the floor for no reason. Strange."

Akashi's all-seeing eyes roamed the space he and the tealnet were in. When he saw nothing out of the ordinary, he nodded, satisfied, and went back to subtly flirting with Kuroko. Of course, the bluenet remained oblivious to it all.

After depositing the dictionary in its rightful place, Kuroko plucked a Horror book from the shelf and leafed through the pages, pursing his lips in thought.

"Are you interested in the Horror genre, then?" the redhead asked, seizing the opportunity to learn more about the bluenet.

Kuroko blinked at him. "No more than anyone else."

"…Huh. What genres _do_ you like, then?"

"I don't care, so long as the book is well-written," Kuroko responded impassively, putting away the Horror book.

 _As expected of Tetsuya._ "Do you see any books that interest you?"

"What is this, 20 Questions?"

"Tetsuya….it would do you well to answer my question."

"Not yet. I'm still browsing. And you better not be planning to pay for my books, Akashi-kun. I'm not going to let you."

"We'll see about that," drawled the cocky redhead.

He was really starting to irk Kuroko.

 **(Line break)**

"Close call," Kagami whispered to himself, heart pounding. He mentally patted himself on the back for surviving that situation.

" _Oh, Kagami….did you almost get caught?~_ " rang a familiar coo.

. . . Never mind.

He was totally, absolutely, positively _dead._

"S-S-Sorry, Coach…"

"Now what are we supposed to do?" Hyuuga interjected. "How are we going to mess up their date without getting caught?"

Kagami silently thanked him as Riko was successfully distracted from incapacitating her victim.

"There are plenty of ways," she said while cracking a sadistic grin that could rival Akashi's. The aura around her said it all – there was no way she was giving up now. And, whether they liked it or not, the team (and the GoM) would have to accompany her in her plan.

 _But there's no fooling Akashi,_ Kagami thought. His day had just worsened.


	13. The long-awaited new chappie

**Guess who went on vacation and forgot to mention that?**

 **Me.**

 **Oops.**

 **Anyway, my family and I took a trip to our aunt's beach house and stayed there for a while. Unfortunately, the WiFi there is** ** _horrid._** **I'm not even exaggerating. I couldn't even read my favourite FanFiction there – nothing would load! ;_; (suffering intensifies)**

 **But the beach was superb because there were crabs, and I love collecting crabs. (Don't worry, I don't keep them. That would be a form of torture for them.)**

 **There was also a swimming pool there. I love swimming, even though I can't swim very well. :D**

 **Lastly, I found a smol downed bird next to the swimming pool house thingie. We couldn't tell if it was a baby or not. Before my sister could even touch it, it flew away. Guess it wasn't injured after all – or maybe the adrenaline numbed its pain for the time being.**

 **So I was thinking about this FanFic while on my vacation. I'm glad I can work on it again! I missed home, even if the beach house was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. 'Kay, I'm done talking. Sorry.**

 **** **For some odd reason, in the last chapter I posted, your name was deleted when I responded to your review. Idk why. (Maybe it's just my computer)**

 **So when I said** ** _'I'm glad you understand. Thanks',_** **I was replying to you. Sorry for the screw-up.**

 ** _Daygon Yuuki ~_** **Get the popcorn. This is going to be interesting.**

 ** _Rinfantasy ~_** **That's true. I completely butchered all the characters' personalities and made them either lovesick puppies or just plain irrational.**

 **You're right on the money with that last part. In this FanFic, Kuroko doesn't take kindly to things he normally wouldn't mind in the anime. Guess he's just tired of everyone's crap. Can't blame him, really.**

 ** _Kouraisouma ~_** **I'M SO SORRY *bows***

 **DISCLAIMER: dramaticbunny does not, in fact, own Kuroko no Basket, and never will.**

"…I'm paying you back."

"No you're not," Akashi replied. "Stop being stubborn."

"I'm not being stubborn," Tetsuya protested, ironically going against his own words. "Akashi-kun. The books weren't even that expensive –"

"-exactly what I've been trying to tell you-"

"-and I have the money to pay you back. _Please._ " Kuroko never thought he would have to resort to begging to get his way.

Akashi's gaze flickered to the blue-haired teen's bright and earnest eyes.

"Alright," he conceded. Kuroko silently counted that as a victory. Unbeknownst to him, Akashi wasn't planning to accept his money. He just wanted to shut him up for now.

"…Tetsuya."

Kuroko's gaze fell expectantly on the redhead. "Yes?"

"I…never mind."

Kuroko frowned, puzzled. It wasn't like Akashi to lose confidence all of a sudden, and _definitely_ not like him to cut himself short. "Is there something wrong, Akashi-kun?"

"No, of course not. What made you think that?"

"Ah. I see."

Akashi's muscles momentarily spasmed. "Did you figure something out?"

"You're uncomfortable because my team, Kise-kun, Midorima-kun, Aomine-kun, and Murasakibara-kun are following us," deduced the tealnet.

Akashi's eyes were as wide as saucers for a millisecond – then he quickly regained his composure.

"How did you know about that?" he inquired. "I wasn't planning on telling you any time soon."

"Weren't you just going to?" Kuroko retorted calmly. "Anyway, you shouldn't be bothered by such a thing. I won't let them do anything."

The redhead smirked. "Shouldn't _I_ be telling _you_ that? Rest assured, I am perfectly capable of caring for himself. You, however—"

"I can take care of myself as well," Kuroko cut him off sharply. "And it's not like they're purposely going to harm me. And if they do…well, they'll regret it."

"I didn't peg you as the violent type, Tetsuya," Akashi chuckled.

"I'm not," the sky-haired teenager insisted.

The redhead's hands itched, longing to grab his scissors and gouge the eyes out of the people who had just arrived and were now "inconspicuously" (their words, not mine) hiding behind the bushes with ridiculous disguises on.

It seemed Kuroko saw them too.

"A moustache, a hat, and glasses," he observed. "But with their very colorful hair, anyone could've seen them from a mile away."

"They are very persistent," Akashi spoke through gritted teeth. Those nincompoops were interfering with _his_ date with _his_ precious Tetsuya. He might've expected this of the overprotective Seirin team, but the _Miracles_ should've known better. Were they so overcome with jealousy that they would dare getting in the way of their former captain's date?

"How about we mess with them?" Tetsuya proposed.

Messing with them sounded wonderful. Seijuro would give them an earful later, (and by an earful, he means an earful of scissors) but for now, he wanted nothing more than to destroy their plan and devastate them.

"Akashi-kun has a scary look in his eyes," remarked Kuroko unconcernedly. "You're frightening the children around us."

Indeed he was. The kids who were with their mothers seemed very wary of him, cowering away as he seethed with fury.

"I think we should show them what we really can do," Akashi finally said, voice deadly calm, each word dripping with acid.

Kuroko didn't seem to be affected by this – if he was, he didn't show it.

"What do you have in mind, Akashi-kun?"

"A plan you will likely enjoy~"

 **(Line break)**

"What are they talking about?! I can't hear them!"

"Shut _up,_ Kise!" Kagami hissed at him fiercely. "Do you _want_ them to hear us?"

The blond glared spitefully at him, but thankfully said nothing more.

"Aka-chin is scaring away the kids," Murasakibara drawled, gesturing lazily at the sight in front of them. He rummaged through his chip bag, making sure to empty it completely.

"Eep!" Kise blanched, recoiling from Seirin's coach, who was currently fired up.

"We'll show that Akashi who's boss!" (I still don't know how she refers to ppl) she battle-cried.

"C-Coach?" Kagami piped up nervously. "Uh…you're b…being a little too loud-"

 ** _"_** ** _Please do repeat that, Kagami-kun. I'm sure I didn't hear you right."_**

"N-Nothing!"

"At least we're not breaking into Kuroko's house this time," Hyuuga sighed.

Kise's head snapped up so fast, it was a wonder how he didn't get whiplash. "W-Wait! _You_ snuck into Kurokocchi's house too?!"

"What do you mean, _too?!_ " Kagami spluttered. "Are you telling me that you guys broke into Kuroko's house as well? That's an invasion of privacy!"

"Says you!" Aomine bit back immediately, unwilling to back down from this particular argument.

Kagami gritted his teeth, unable to find a comeback to put the aho back in his place.

 _B stard,_ he thought begrudgingly.

Riko sighed in a manner similar to Hyuuga, pinching the bridge of her nose in evident irritation. "We don't have time for this! So what if the Generation of Miracles broke into Kuroko-kun's house as well? That's not the matter at hand here!"

Kagami and Aomine shut their mouths instantly. The coach had that kind of effect on people.

"Uh…?" Izuki ventured. "Coach? They're gone…."

" ** _What?!_** " Riko swiveled around, eyes widening once Izuki's words were confirmed. "Where did they go?"

Izuki shrugged helplessly.

"Maybe they went home," suggested Kagami awkwardly. He silently patted himself on the back. _Now we can leave them alone and not have to talk about this ever again,_ he thought victoriously, praising himself for thinking up of something so clever and –

"There they are!"

 _…_ _.Godd mmit._

 **A/N:**

 **Hey, do you guys know how to PM people? I feel really stupid for not knowing, especially given the fact that I've been on this website for a decently long time.**

 **I know someone on this website who I'd like to speak to, but they have nothing published. Can I still talk to them? If so, how?**


	14. In which Akashi thinks he's so suave

**Reviews:**

 ** _Hope10032 ~_** **I'm glad you think it's good! :) And thank you – that makes a lot of sense. For a while I thought you just couldn't PM people who didn't have any stories published, which in hindsight was very dumb of me. X'D**

 **...Your review is very deep.**

 ** _Dragon Silhouette ~_** **They deserve to be messed with. And thank you!**

 ** _Rinfantasy ~_** **Thanks! I'll keep that in mind!**

 **That is true. Kuroko can be pretty violent at times….though I could say the same for Kagami as well. That's what makes them such good friends. That and basketball.**

 **My thoughts exactly! I never shipped them together, despite me being a huge yaoi fangirl. (^_^") I guess this FanFic isn't exactly "AllxKuroko", then.**

 **Y'know, in the past, I used to create stories that were compiled entirely of nothing but descriptions of objects, humans, animals, etc. I wasn't too fond of dialogue. Nowadays, however, my stories seem to be overrun by constant dialogue. It's weird.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke.**

Kuroko attempted to very subtly slip money into Akashi's back pocket. Unfortunately, the redhead wasn't oblivious, despite what Kuroko might've thought, and took hold of the other's wrist before he could.

"Please, Tetsuya," purred Akashi, apparently trying to be charming and failing miserably (in Kuroko's eyes. Any other sane person would be embarrassed at the redhead's clear flirting). "It's too soon for that. We haven't gone on enough dates~"

The tealnette rolled his eyes, jerking back so the redhead would release his wrist. "Akashi-kun, I don't want you wasting your money on me."

"It's not _wasting,_ " Akashi quipped back, puffing his chest out in a proud manner. Kuroko noted that the redhead was surprisingly childish. "After all, it's for you, and you make everything worth it."

Kuroko didn't dignify that with a reply. Nothing could change the redhead's mind, and he knew that all too well. He had had his fair share of Akashi's stubbornness, and he didn't want to experience it again. He stayed silent for a few seconds, then said, "Akashi-kun…what about the plan?"

"I haven't forgotten about it, if that's what you're insinuating. I'm simply waiting for the right time to strike," Akashi informed him. "Fear not, Tetsuya. We _will_ get them back for breaking into your house."

The bluenette stared at him questioningly. "…They broke into my house? Why would they do that? It's not like there's anything noteworthy in there…"

"You don't seem very upset about your teammates and the Generation of Miracles invading your personal property," Akashi observed.

"The Generation of Miracles broke into my house too?" Kuroko frowned. "How do you know all of this, Akashi-kun? Did you go with them?"

"Of course not," the redhead disagreed immediately. "I wouldn't do something so invasive." He leaned in a bit. "After all, I already know everything about you. Why would I need to bother with such pointless pursuits?"

Kuroko flinched away from him. "I'm not going to lie, Akashi-kun. That is very creepy."

"I'm glad you think so." Akashi smirked, straightening himself up again and brushing invisible dirt off his shirt. He clapped a hand on the other boy's shoulder. "Now, shall we go?" Not that he had a choice anyway.

 **(Line break)**

Kise was biting into his handkerchief to keep from screaming aloud. "They're _touching_ each other! My poor, sweet, innocent Kurokocchi!"

"Innocent my ass," scoffed Kagami. He knew firsthand how cunning and evil the bluenette was, despite how he looked. That devil was anything _but_ sweet and innocent.

Aomine made a snide remark aimed at the blond. Soon the two were bickering like an old married couple. Kagami mentioned this, and was instantly manhandled by the two.

"I only love Kurokocchi!" Kise exclaimed. "I'm going to marry Kurokocchi and we'll have lots of kids and—"

"Yeah right!" Kagami snorted. "If anything, Kuroko's probably going to marry that Akas-"

"Don't say it, dammit!" Aomine fumed. "I don't want to hear that from you! And besides, Tetsu loves _me,_ not that hellspawn!"

Kise gasped loudly. "Aominecchi! Akashicchi is going to _kill_ you!" The ganguro twitched in response.

Midorima sighed, pushing up his glasses. "…You're on your own, Aomine. You brought this upon yourself."

"Oi! Who asked you, four-eyes?!" Aomine made to strangle the green-haired teenager, but Murasakibara easily held him back. "Let go of me, you overgrown eggpla-"

"Stop it, stop it!" Riko interrupted, waving her hands around wildly. "This isn't helping, you bakas! We need to prevent Kuroko-kun and that devil from forming a concrete relationship!"

"Why are we doing this again?" Kagami asked. "We shouldn't be getting all up in his business. I mean, it's _his_ life and al-"

Refusing to listen to reason, Riko gripped his throat and shook him back and forth violently. "Do you have any idea how stupid you sound right now, Bakagami?!"

 _How stupid_ _ **I**_ _sound?_ Kagami thought, trying to escape his coach's iron grip. Luckily, Riko released him soon afterward and took a step back, controlling herself.

"Anyway," she spoke tartly. "We cannot waste anymore time than we already have."

 _Whose fault was that?_ Kagami sneered inwardly. He honestly didn't understand _why_ all of them were so dead-set on meddling with Akashi and Kuroko's relationship. How could they compete with the devil himself? (Whether Kagami is referring to Akashi or Kuroko is up to you.)

Midorima cleared his throat, deft fingers fixing the position of his glasses. "Regardless, we need to put a stop to this…unhealthy relationship. We are not getting anything done by just standing here and fighting like idiots."

 _Says you!_ Kagami face-palmed. He looked around and realized with a sinking feeling that no one was willing to give up just yet. _This is going to be a loooong day….._

 **A/N:**

 **I'm sorry there's still not a lot of action. This FanFic is getting real boring. :/**

 **It seems as though Kagami is, surprisingly, the voice of reason. He always ends up being the single sane one, doesn't he? Poor guy.**

 **Ugh. This site constantly mutilates everything, including my paragraphs.**


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